Unlike Other People
“They are strange”. How often do we say this phrase? Almost every day. When we get into a new company, first of all we look around, make a conclusion about the character of a person we want to make friends with. If we do not wish to communicate with them, they just look strange in our eyes. They talk and move in a way we do not like. We barely know this person, so the single peculiarity turns us away from them. They are unfamiliar to us too. We will never make friends with them and will avoid them to meet less often.
It is our first conclusion that comes to mind as we meet a person. It may pass as we get closer to them. How many people do we reject because of such reason? A lot, too many. We do not even think about how we hurt people with words or actions. And only when we are rejected, we understand that we are no better than those people.
Every day we wear another mask when leaving home. “Yesterday I was serious and responsible, today I will show I can party”. Behind all of these masks we have lost ourselves long ago, and learned how to hold back. Seeking praise and recognition, we build ourselves around stereotypes of the society we live in. “I don’t like it, but they like it. Let it be the way they want. I’m not going to stick out like a sore thumb”. We are so afraid of being rejected that we stop living by our dreams and thoughts. We reject ourselves, how is society supposed to accept us? Russian psychologist and writer Michael Labkovsky says: “Nobody needs someone who doesn’t value themselves. And someone, who accepts themselves for who they are, lives a tasteful and worthy life despite any minor inconveniences”.
If you always reject yourself, you can not wish for a worthy life. There are some general moral rules we have to follow, but we shouldn’t surrender to others and forget about our interests and hobbies. It can be scary to express yourself. It’s okay to feel afraid, you just need to learn to cope with it. Labkovsky invented 6 rules to deal with the problem of self-expression:
1. Do what you want to do.
2. Don’t do what you don’t want to do.
3. Always speak up if you don’t like something.
4. Answer when asked and don’t answer when there is no question for you.
5. Answer only the question you’ve been asked.
6. When sorting things out, talk only about yourself. There are people, who are able to do that, and there are people, for whom it is difficult.
There will be people ready to accept you. And there will be people who wouldn’t understand you. It is important to remember that there will always be a person, who would accept and support you.
Nobody is perfect, but everyone is unique. Why do you need to dissolve in the crowd, when you can stand out? We are used to keeping silent, to refuse something we want for the sake of others. But is it right? What can you achieve with it? If we all keep silent then what will happen? Sometimes it’s not bad to be unlike others. Everyone can do something important, don’t think your actions are useless. The world is huge, it gives you so much opportunities for self-realization. Why would you miss them? It’s time to act.
text Tatyana Kushenko
translated by Anastasia Guslyakova
edited by Afiq Makkana, Reshma Durai
