How long does Love last and how we can keep it
According to a French writer, Frederic Beigbeder, love lasts for three years. His theory is based on the scientific findings that exhibit love as a chemical process in a living organism.
Anthropologist, Helen Fisher, boils down a period of romantic love to 1.5 years while two primitive parts of the brain that helps to integrate our thoughts, feelings and instincts has increased activity.
As it turned out, we can talk only about our hormone changes, in regards to love, as it can be measured scientifically. But how many of us wait for love in the form of hormone? We look forward for something better than that. Paradoxically, it’s up to us.
Let’s talk about the glaring and disastrous mistakes a person makes, thinking he/she fights for love, but in fact it turns into a castle of ruins.
Destructive conflicts
Many couples notice that irritation, quarrels and small tiffs leave cracks, which may even lead to breaks, in the relationship. That’s why people should be careful when they are speaking to each other, and if it happens that you’ve lost your nerve — try to compose yourself together as soon as possible and try to resolve the issue.
Loneliness
Whatever the bellicose supporters of personal space may say, lovers should be together as often as possible. Anyone who prefers instead of an evening walk with his beloved book, the Internet or TV, takes another step towards breaking or icing the relations.
Falsehood
It delivers a crushing blow rather than being selfish. Lying is a poison. There is nothing good around.
Morbid egoism
Egoism kills relationships in the bud. An individual cannot completely get rid of their egoism; however, it is necessary to control it. A healthy egoism keeps a balance and gives a possibility to care deeply for one another. An unhealthy egoism, strides and turns into a rapacious beast, ready to devour anything that has been accomplished.
Have a conflict in a constructive way
In a relationship, it’s rather important to concede than to prove you are right. Just remember — you both should know how and when to concede with each other. A constructive conflict you do not disperse in the corners, remaining with your opinion, but learn who wants to solve the problem and how. In a constructive conflict, only at the mutual concessions, there is possibility to reach adherent points.
Spend time together
It’s priceless for a couple to spend one-on-one time. Once you both have sucked into any activity together, you’ll know each other better and get even closer.
Sincerity
It’s not for the sake of the purity of the soul. But it’s for the sake of being understood by the people around you. Being sincere in your behavior, you let your parents know what kind of behavior you like. The better you know each other; the more opportunities arise to find a compromise. Then it will be far more convenient for you to solve problems.
Protect your personal boundaries, but be ready for intimacy.
Love makes us afraid. Perhaps it’s one of the important reasons why people build relationships in “trust someone as close as anyone else” manner. Love makes us afraid. Perhaps it’s one of the important reasons why people build relationships in “trust someone as close as anyone else” manner.
Love is a view of life and a special form of relationship to a loved one. It’s not a gift from above; it’s a daily work that needs self-sacrifice.
Therefore, becoming spouses, you should first of all want to love each other, desire it, know why you need it. This is a conscious choice. If the relationship is exhausted, then that was such a choice.
Text Ilya Blagov
Edition Veronika Olievskaya
Edition in english by Reshma Durai
