Externalism — the Inner Love for Yourself
Self-acceptance. An interesting and very controversial topic, isn’t it?
In every society, there are certain standards that have emerged due to changes in culture. Year after year, beginning with the formation of man as a rational being, even if at that time and with a primitive self-consciousness, cultural norms were changed under the influences of both internal and external influences of other cultures.
For example, with the adoption of Christianity in Russia, under the influence of Byzantium, not only the way of life changed, but also the system of moral values. The attitude to people’s appearance were gradually transformed. Previously, the standard of beauty was the image of a woman with soft curves were considered a sign of health. But now in contrast, to be thin came into fashion.
But accepting yourself as “external” is only the tip of the iceberg. A little more than a century ago, Russia valued individuals who did not take part in disputes, who were quiet and economic. Later, the image of women desperately fighting for the rights of their own words were valued. Social standards of behavior are constantly changing, expanding human consciousness, opening new horizons of self-knowledge. Therefore, the attitude to the manifestation of men’s “atypical” experiences: empathy and compassion, expressing tears, became absolutely a norm.
The problem of social movements like ‘body positive’ are so popularizing, consists only in accepting one’s external self? I doubt. They say that solving the problem of self-esteem and self-perception will dissolve the issue. I, as a person who has no problems with self-esteem and loves myself in any form, suffer from the depreciation of my work. I not only deny my own achievements, but I don’t accept myself. In other words, the problem of self-acceptance lies in the framework of only external signs. Yes, unfortunately, the external qualities of a person is a subject of harassment by society, and a strong damage is done to their personality.
You can be called stupid and narrow-minded if you don’t understand a joke, or rude and cold, just because you are not interested in other people. I want to draw your attention to the importance and underestimation of the problem of accepting yourself, because it is no less important to the perception of appearance. Your body, face, character, tone of voice, ideals and goals are the components of your personality. We can’t be liked by everyone because we are unique and different from each other. As the saying goes ‘each product has its own buyer’. Everyone has their own tastes and preferences. Don’t worry about the fact that no one laughed at the joke or someone casted a long glance to you. Work on yourself, not for the approval from the outside, but to please yourself in the inside.
If you care and value yourself, the environment will feel the love. It will no longer matter what you wear today or how messy your hair is, what your mood is, or how difficult it is, according to others, to communicate with you. Be confident in yourself and then you will start to enjoy yourself. Life will become much easier.
text Xenia Soldatenko
edited by Samraj Shiraz
